Changing that Mindset

There are a lot of articles out there on how to be more positive. There are many strategies that also tells you how to turn that frown upside down.

I will be honest with you, I don't have a degree in psychology to tell you why you are feeling like this. I'm not a doctor to tell you the science behind on why our brains do the things they do.

I'm just a mom who has had negative thoughts since I don't know maybe before I became a teenager always trying to please everyone. I always thought negative, that why me. Always told myself I'm never good enough. When I was younger I thought telling myself not being good enough was just a motivator to keep going and get better.

Well that definitely changes once you get older, it changed from being a motivator to an constant talk of berating of myself on a daily basis. I knew it wasn't healthy but I didn't know how to change it. I really didn't. I thought it was just part of my life. It was just what it's going to be.

Everyone reaches that rock bottom where it just clicks. For everyone it's a different, it can be a anything, for me it was my daughter. She came home from school and just had this sad look on her face. She told me that she wasn't good enough to play catch with her friends, or run as fast. I knew right then I just had to change my mind set. I knew I had to change for her and for my family and especially for myself.

I needed to change that "I'm not good enough" mindset as I know my mindset is effecting her and I know she follows every move I make. Yes my rock bottom is not as dramatic as others but it was enough to change my how my mind thinks. It's made me more grateful for the things around me and for the small things I have never noticed before.

What I hope for all of this is I want my story to help anyone that it can. I want it to help people change their mentality and live a more happier and healthier life. If you need someone to chat or someone to just listen to you I'm here and am willing to help.

Don't Let Negativity Crush You

It's been a while, I was in a bad spot for a few days and I needed  a small reset. I feel like I have it now and feeling a lot better.

I work outside of the home full time and for the longest time, it was all about I need to get the F*** out of here. I knew there were amazing things for me out there in this world but I felt like I was being held back.

I applied for a few jobs and did not get them. I applied and applied nothing, or when I did go through the process it was always a no. That brought me down quite a bit because I thought to myself "yes I'm out of here" but then get the crushing news and still no changes.

I was told by someone recently maybe I should not be thinking about leaving and I should start being grateful for what I have. When I first heard that I was like "ummmmm okay" and how I should change my vision and to bring out more positive energy. I had to let that sink in for a bit and was I upset, oh yeah. How could something think I'm negative, I am not a negative person.

For a few days I was down, and when I mean really down. I was crying to my husband thinking, I am not worth anything else. Yeah it was a bad couple of days. I woke up one morning and I was like, you know what?!?! Forget this, I am worthy of whatever job I find, and I just need to keep going.

I could of let my negativity of that conversation ruin everything for long time, but I said to myself "NO, I am not going to let this negative view of me crush me."

I started to do things I enjoyed doing again like listening to audio books. I really enjoy to listen to Tony Robbins and Stephen Covey. I think the way they speak and the way they explain things, I get it.

To me changing that mind set took me years. I mean YEARS to finally just let things be. Does that mean I will stay stagnant, oh goodness no, this give me more of a drive to be better and find what I should be doing.

Changing my mindset has give me a clearer mind, and a new drive when I wake up in the morning. In the past I felt like a drone and just went through the motions. Now I feel like when I wake up there is a purpose, I make sure I write down what I am grateful and that really helps me get through the day. Knowing what I am grateful for really puts things in perspective. Waking in a purpose and drive really changes your mood and attitude.

I used to get crazy anxiety attacks about anything and everything. This is the first time since 2013 after all the things I went through I did not have an anxiety attack, which is crazy.

Why am I sharing all this? I truly do believe the mind is the most powerful thing. I used to think yeah I am positive but nothing good ever happens for me so what's the point? Man,  wasted years on thinking like that. I really truly believe if the mindset has changed and you wake up with purpose and drive, you will see life in such a different way. I know that for me this is a wake up call to make those decisions when the time comes. It's coming, I know it is and I can't wait to run things.

I could of have let the negativity crush me but I finally made the decision to not let it and I am so hopeful for what is going to come. I am bursting with excitement.

How I Keep Healthy...And Why I Choose to Do It

Staying healthy is a big part of my life and that of my family. Each one of us has something we enjoy to do and I tell my kids all the time if you enjoy it keep doing it and do it with all your effort.

For my daughter that is gymnastics and Jiu Jitsu. She enjoys both and is excelling in both.  My little man is only 3 but loves his swimming and kids gymnastics so again we tell him to have fun and enjoy. Everyone has that little thing that makes them enjoy what they do. 

For me that's CrossFit.

Now before all the haters that say CrossFit is dangerous, or it's not really working out, you can just stop there because I am not going to listen. When people google CrossFit they see all the ripped women and some crazy stuff they do. That's them and they are some amazing awesome women, but that's only maybe 2% of the people that do CrossFit.

 Many of the people that do CrossFit are like me, just every day people that want to be healthy and be more mobile. When I told some friends and my family this is how I get and stay fit these are the main things that have come out of their mouth:

• You are going to get hurt
• I need to be in shape to do it
• You are not doing really pull-ups, etc
• You don't want to look like a man
• Do you really need to lift all that weight 

I've heard it all, I was even told by my family that I will end up looking like a man, and that I shouldn't be lifting weight how it's not "lady like". I love my family but yeah, no so I continue to do it and I feel amazing.

Do I look like those ripped women? Oh goodness no, those women train up to 6-8 hours a day to compete I'm just a mom who likes to push the limits and see how strong I can get.

Look, this post is not about making everyone join CrossFit. This is just something I found for me which works for me. Whatever you have found to keep yourself moving, wether it be, Zumba, Barre, Weightlifting, Swimming, whatever the case. Keep doing it. Remember, keep doing you which is the most important thing I can say.

Don't forget to check me out on instagram here and Facebook here. 

Feelings

I know what a title right??? LOL As as I sit a sip on my coffee on this labour day I just can't believe summer break is over and it's time for back to school. Some provinces are already back but here in Ontario we don't go back until after Labour Day. So this is it, this is the last day before the craziness begins again.

When I woke up I just had the urge to write, really about my feelings on today and the days ahead. It's crazy how time just goes by so fast. I still remember the last day of school and now we are just mere hours away from my oldest who is starting grade 2 this year.

I can't believe my eldest will be 7 in exactly two weeks. I just don't know where the time has gone. Has time gotten away from any of you? I feel like it has. I feel like I blink and boom another year has gone by and more changes with my kids are happening.

I honestly feel like I just returned from mat leave with my youngest, and he will be turning 4 in January. I realized this little ones will not stay young forever and to cherish every moment with them. No we didn't go on any "vacations" away, but we had some amazing memories this summer locally and my kids had an amazing time.

Time just seems to be going by to quickly for my liking. I wish time would just slow down just a little for us moms to breathe and just take in everything. Maybe it's just me, and I put a lot of pressure on myself but for me, time is most important and I'm trying everything to make every day the fullest.

Yeah I know sounds cliche but I have finally realized that is the truth. It's time to put what we truly believe first and love first. A lot of what i'm writing might not make sense but that's the greatest thing about writing, just putting those ideas and feelings down and letting them out.

Writing again has given me that urge to just get my crap together LOL. Deciding to work on something was the best decision I made. I mean I do work full time outside of the home as well so it's going to be at tough 12 months but I'm willing to work for that time in the end for my family and for me.

Anyone else out there made that decision and living your best life? Comment below and let me know, would love to read and hear all about those inspiring and tough decisions.

25 Questions To Get to Know Me

I don't usually do these get to know me tags, but since I told myself to do something new whenever I can here you go. Hope this helps you all get to know me a bit more. 

25 Get to Know Me Questions

1. What is you middle name? - Anne

2. What was your favourite subject at school? - Reading - I was always reading a book at all times

3. What is your favourite drink? - very simple grande sugar free hazelnut americano from 'Bucks

4.What is your favourite song at the moment? -  Never Forget you by Zara Larsson

5. What is your favourite food -  Flipino food

6.What is the last thing you bought - back to school clothes for my kids

7. Favourite book of all time? - That's a hard one, I have read some really amazing books. Can't choose just one

8. Favourite colour? - blue

9. Do you have any pets? -  Currently no, but when I was living at home with my parents I had a Shiba Inu named Yugi - my little brother named him that because at the time he loved the show and game Yu-Gi-Oh

10. Favourite perfume? -  I don't wear perfume

11. Favourite Holiday? - Christmas -  love the snow (if we ever have any), Love the family get togethers and the food

12. Are you married? - Yes - will be married 8 years this October 4th. 

13. Have you ever been out of the country, if so, how many times? - Yes, i'm from Canada so have been to the US multiple times, and Punta Cana once. 

14. Do you speak any other language?- English fluently, when I was a child I was able to speak tagalog fluently.Now I just understand tagalog but not able to speak fluently. 

15. How many siblings do you have? - 2 and older brother who is 3 years older than me and a little brother who is 13 years younger than me. 

16. How many kids do you have? - 2 - my daughter who will be 7 September and my son who will be turning 4 in January.

17. Favourite restaurant? - I don't really have a favourite restaurant but I really enjoyed eating at P.F. Chang's. We had one in Canada but that didn't last to long 

18. When was the last time you cried? - Yesterday

19. Favourite Blog? - I really enjoy many blogs but currently I have to shout out my girl Sarah. Check her out at Sleeping is For Losers

20. Favourite movie? - Dirty Dancing is probably my all time favourite. 

21. Favourite TV Shows? - I don't really watch much TV

22. What is your Nationality? - Filipino Canadian

23. Where were you born? - Toronto, ON, Canada

24. How tall are you? - 4'11 and 3/4, and yes I'm adding that in, getting all the height I can get LOL.

25. Can you cook? - Yes but not very well LOL. 

So there it is, a little glimpse into my life. I usually do not write about my private life but I figured I need to start becoming more vulnerable to reach the goals that I want. So enjoy :)

Let's Try This Again

So this is not my first rodeo on trying to write a blog. I would get inspired and then not inspired and just stop. I always thought about writing again and so here I am.

This is going to be a different post. In the past I never wrote about this. In my head I had to stay positive to help others. No one ever saw the other side of me or what I'm going through. But I decided to now really show my true self here and if you understand by the end of this thanks, and I feel you. 

I think this all started when I was young. I was always afraid to do something bad or get bad grades, thinking my parents just wanted perfection. I mean who doesn't want their kids to be the best right? So as I kid I just worked my butt off but never really had a passion. Pretty much did what my parents wanted me to do. To them because they were immigrants of the Philippines who worked their butt off to come to Canada I thought, good they will be proud of me once I make them happy. 

Now as a mom of two amazing kids, one who is will be 7 this September and one who is 3 I realized I've been dealing with anxiety all these years. I have never been diagnosed but that feeling of not being good enough. Or making sure everyone else around me needs to be okay before me. That feeling in your chest or always being anxious or always worried about everyone and everything. 

It's been pretty bad lately and that's why I'm here. My amazing husband and my friend Sarah said start putting your thoughts on paper and let it be raw and let it be your true self. So here I am. Raw, and all me. 

If anyone has ever felt this way or still feel this way, I know what you are going through. Let's fight this together and come out on top. It make take a long time but we will get out of this tunnel and hit that light at the end.